The Beauty of Gray

Only when the time is right. Who am I? How will I ever know if I always run for cover? I have been shown love at times throughout my life. Once it was new and couldn't be lived without. Then I was shown it like a dime-store hooker. I hope I'm there to see it when time and I shake hands and say goodbye.

The other day God looked down my throat and told me I was thirsty. You have the power to belive agian, He said. I just kept saying that I'd believe it when I saw it for myself. I don't need anyone to tell me about it. What is this energy that never left or came?

Naked lovers can feel the blood beneathe their veins. Electric nerves connect with tiny explosions in our minds. They feel like masters of their time and place. They live in a place seperate from the fears that we know. Maybe home is where the heart is given up to the One. Maybe. I wish something would break. I feel like I'm running out of time, and there is so much water in my lungs. From now on I'll have to keep a closer watch on this heart of mine. I find it far too easy to be true. I'm such fool. I suppose I should have been more true to myself instead of simply hopefull.

I need the gray area. It has to be within my grasp. If I Can't see it then what's the use? It's a crazy mixed world. I wouldn't have it any other way. Unless my way would fit. I'm filled with such irraputable enui. I can feel that rattlesnake again.

I was put on a shelf but I can only blame me for that. I felt I could handle being put back, but it's too much.

Cold silence has a tendancy to atrophy any sense of compassion between supposed lovers - JHK (MHK)