Debates in Ultimate Reality

As I sat there foremost of anyone else, I realized that they all knew you differently. They were your friends, they were your customers, they were your lovers...I was your brother and I could think of nothing short of dreadful, depressing, mournful things. This is not to say that I did not love you, I just knew you differently. Ever since I was five I have heard the stories of how you are the reason I exist. I would imagine that if the roles were reversed you would have much more affectionate memories to share about me. You were 12 years older than I was and you had your own life to lead; I don't blame you for the things you did and I have never held them against you. For as long as I can remember I have thought of your actions as hurtful towards the people that we mutually love; from our parents to your children. I have tried to instill my ideology back into these people, but now that you're gone I think it will be more difficult in your absence than I ever believed it to be in your presence.

I am reminded of the questionable adage of what happens to the unstoppable force when it meets the unmovable object, from now on I will be able to answer that question; it happens when the person you've never been able to articulate your love for dies, and they never hear how you feel.

My Father told us both once that his brother died before he felt he was able to reconcile the differences between them and that he believed this would happen with us if we did not find some way to show each other compassion. I feel that though my sister and I discussed and happily argued one another; we never spoke about the one obvious point between us...that we were both the same and loved each other very much.

To All That Spoke With Reverence:
I know that my sister came with a force that could not entirely be described, it could only be experienced. Though I am saddened by her death, I rejoice that I have come to know the shrapnel of her existence.